


WANTED

by BlueMonster



Category: 2moons2
Genre: 2moons2 - Freeform, M/M, PavelEarth, benearth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMonster/pseuds/BlueMonster
Summary: What if he never born?Will people around him be happy?What if he disappears?Will they miss him?Will they know he is not there anymore?Will they finally feel they want him?Will he gonna felt wanted?Will....He just wants to feel wanted by someone[WANTED: Earth AU]
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Lonely Birthday

Life is helpless

Life is so boring

But people keep trying to tell us to live our life

Fuck that!

They know nothing about someone's else life. They never care at all but always try to control people's life. They know nothing but always judge someone's else life.

Living by himself, Earth knows better about that. No one cares of him. His parent left him alone in this cruel world since he was baby. Left him to be an orphan. His relative didn't want him. Feeling disgusted of him, treated him like some disease or bad omen.

Twenty two years he always live by himself. Fight by himself. Try to live everyday. His skinny body shows how hard he tries to live everyday.

"May I have those rose?"

Earth smiles to the tall boy who is asking him for the rose.

"How many do you want?"

"I want to make a bucket. Can you help me to do that?"

The boy looks so shy but his eyes showing how happy he is right now. Earth can feel the love from that boy to whoever he will give that beautiful flower. He feels envy. He always wishes there will someone who makes him feel wanted.

"Do you want to me write anything to your beloved?"

"My mom. It is for my mom. She is coming back here"

Earth smiles when he sees how happy that boy when he is talking about his mother. Kinda envy him but he is happy for him. Kinda envy when someone has someone to love and to cherish. He wants to feel that. He wants to feel how to cherish someone. He wants to feel how is to be loved. To be wanted.

It is hurt.

His heart is breaking.

"Your mother is so lucky to have son like you"

"Thank you" The boy gives him genuine smile, "How much?"

"300 but you can pay 200. It is a gift from me to welcome your mom"

The boy wants to refuse it but Earth insist and finally he gives up and accept the kindness that Earth gives to him.

"I will pay you back" Earth wants to refuse, "I insist. I will come back later. This night. I will bring you something"

Earth has no time to say anything. That boy is running out and leaves.

Tonight.

He has someone who will come to him.

Tonight.

He will be not alone.

Not lonely in his birthday.

27

He is going to be 27 years old and it is gonna be 27 years for him to live alone in this cruel world. Another year to spend with miserable. Another year to fight for living. Another year to envy people's life.

.  
.  
.

Night.

He shouldn't have to be excited. Why he should feel so excited for a stranger who promised him to come right now? It was a stranger for god shake. He doesn't know him. And maybe he lied just to be nice to him.

11:37pm

His birthday will end up soon.

A small cupcake and little candle.

Chocolate.

Even though he hates that taste but it is the only one that left in the cake shop near his florist. The candle is the leftover from his last year birthday which is the leftover from his birthday 2 years ago. He never throws it because he doesn't want to waste money anymore. Even he hasn't change at all. Still wearing the same clothes he wore this morning.

11:50pm

No point to wait for someone who he doesn't know what his name is.

The sound of his phone makes his thought of the stranger fades away. He looks at his phone.

"Happy birthday"

He snorts when he reads it. It is ok for him if that person not wishes him a happy birthday. It is better he doesn't text him for first place like he always do.

He never cares about him. Why now? Or it could be something he always do. Money. Why he always aksk money from him? He even is not his relative. Yes, they grew up together in orphanage. But that's it. Nothing else. He never cares about him like forever.

Another notification comes.

"Can you borrow me money?"

No need to do anything else. He blocks that number. He had enough of him plastering him till now. Now,it is bettet to cut him from his life. He is nothing to him.

Waiting.

Should he keep waiting for someone who he only met just once?

Nah. He doesn't want to raise his hope up. He doesn't know him. They met once. This morning. He even doesn't know what is his name.

Earth ready to close his florist when someone runs to him. He is breathless. Earth just looks at him. He is happy but he is confuse too. He never thought this boy will be here. In front of him. He wants to say something but he doesn't know what to say.

The boy asks him for moment to catch his breath.

He is smiling. Showing his white teeth that not so perfect. They are not same size. Some of them are small. Some of them are big than others. But it is still look nice to him.

Earth still not says anything. Honestly, he doesn't know what to say. He only stares that boy.

"Sorry. I am late"

Earth only can nod.

"I am sorry to make you wait"

"Do you want a drink? I only have water"

Earth walks in to his florist. The boy follows him in. He looks around just to learn about his surrounding. Like the name, the room is full of many kind of flowers. It is small florist. Not fancy but still look good.

They go to another room. It is small room. Bed room. It is not like usual bed room. It is small and plain and messed up. You can find anything there. Even you can find some of ingredients there.

"I am sorry. I couldn't clean my room"

"You live here alone?"

Earth nods and please the boy to sit wherever he wants.

"I don't have anything to offer you"

"It's ok. I don't want to bother you" He looks around and notices something, "Your birthday?"

Earth looks at the cupcake near him. He nods again.

"Happy birthday"

The sound of it makes Earth's heart feels so overwhelmed. He is so happy and sad. It is the first time in his entire life he got an exciting wishes from someone.

Without he knows, the tears are running down to his face.

"I am sorry"

He tries to wipe out the tears. He doesn't want that boy to think he is crazy and he doesn't want to look ugly even tho he is already ugly.

Fluffy mess hair. A big round glasses. He is sure he has ugly face. No one ever compliment him for his look. People always call him nerd and every ugly name to him.

"Wait...use this" The boy offers him a handkerchief when he wants to use his dirty shirt to wipe his tears. Earth hesitates to take that but the smile on that boy face makes him do it. His smile makes Earth feels warm. He feels cared. Protected.

"Your birthday?"

"Was..." Earth nods, "Already ended. New day"

The boy takes the cupcake and puts the small candle on it. Turn it on with a lighter he finds beside the cupcake.

"We can celebrate our meeting today. Let's be friend"

Earth tilts his head. Confuse. It is the first time in his entire life, someone is asking him to be his friend.

"Friend?"

"You don't want to?"

Quick. Earth shakes his head. Of course he wants to have someone who can he call friend. Someone who will proud to call him friend too.

"Friend!"

"So....should we sing a song or..."

"Just blow the candle"

"You do it and make a wish"

"Why me?"

"A gift from me" The boy smiles at him.

Earth can help but smile too. Never in entire life someone has done something like this to him. It is a new thing and he is happy to feel this happiness.

He makes a wish and blow candle after that.

"Happy birthday and happy friendship" The boy takes something out of his pocket. It is bracelet. A simple one.

"What is this"

"My mom gave it to me and I think it will look nice on your wrist"

"But it is from your mom and it is for you. I can't take it. I am a stranger to you"

"You are wrong. Now, we are friends remember?"

"But...."

"No but. I insist. It is a thanks from me for the bucket. My mom loved it"

"I am so happy your mom loved it but..."

"Do you want to break your friend's heart?"

Earth left speechless. He doesn't know what to say. Even, he doesn't know what to do when that boy takes his hand and put the bracelet to his wrist.

"Look good on you. It is beautiful"

Earth is admiring the bracelet he got. It is plain bracelet but for him it is the most beautiful thing that he ever sees.

"You should smile more" Earth stops admiring that bracelet and looks at the boy, confuse "You look more cute when you smile"

Earth can't help but smile. He can feel his cheek is burning right now.

"I am Phoom. Pavel Phoom. You?"

"Earth. Just Earth"

"Just Earth. Cute name" He is joking.

"Nice to meet you, Earth" He hands him his hand to shake. Earth takes it and shakes his hand.

"Thank you for being my friend"

"My pleasure"

For the first time in his life, he is so thankful for being born. He is so thankful for being alive.

Pavel Phoom. A boy who makes him thankful for being exist. Thank you for being his friend.


	2. Disappear Hope

Day by day is getting bright

Shiny? Not really

Cloudy but it is more better than before

He is still alive. Like usual. But feels so different. Now he can breathe. At least he doesn't feel suffocate just like his past 26 years of living. He is breathing his life. Day by day, now.

He has a reason to live. Not fight to live anymore. He has reason to enjoy the sun that wakes him up every single morning. To hear the noises around his neighborhood. Even the fight between husband and wife is like a music he could enjoy.

He becomes crazy. He knows that. He is carzy happy. His life becomes happier than before. Maybe....maybe this is something that God gives for him to make him happy.

Funny.

He never believes in God, even when the sisters at the orphanage told him to pray every single day, he never believe in that existence. But now, he talked like God is exist. He wants to laugh at himself. How funny he is right now. Ridiculous. Maybe he becomes crazy like what people around him always told him.

Wake up in the morning.

5am is too early for him to wake up but whatever. He can't sleep anymore, so he is preparing and arranging the flowers. Earth no have employees. He does all works by himself. Day to night. 24/7.

No help. He by himself and he never complaining about it. This is his life. He should fight it by himself. No need to ask help from someone because in this life he lives alone. Forever.

One hour he does everything and it is done. His body is wet and stink. He needs to shower and put perfume.

He takes his old clothes in the closet. It was white but now becomes grey and some parts are getting darker because of oil or ink, he doesn't know. He forgot.

He smells it. The clothes still good to wear but unpleasant to look at. But whatever, it is his clothes and he doesn't need to wear something fancy. No one is here for him to pleased. No one is here to be the reason for him to dress up nicely.

Or maybe it is what he is thinking.

He sprays some perfume just to make it smells more pleasant. It is cheap perfume and it is smell like citrus. Not really nice but it is ok. The flowers around him can make him smell good.

He goes to front to open the window and let the sun touches his flowers gently. His babies need so much love from the sun.

"Morning, Earthaemon" A handsome boy greets him with a beautiful smile. He wears sport clothes. Maybe he is resting in front of his florist after did some workout sessions.

Earth can't help but skipped beat. His heart.

It is a beautiful sight that he never thought he could see in the morning. In his usual early boring morning.

"Here. I bought you strawberry milk and some breads. I know you haven't had your breakfast" He hands him a paper bag. Earth opens it and finds a strawberry milk with some donuts with different flavors.

"Thank you"

The handsome boy gives him something else again to him. A small box. Earth looks at him. Confuse.

"Happy birthday. It is late I know. I am sorry"

Earth smiles and opens that box. He likes it. Nah, he loves it. It is a ring. That boy gives him a ring.

"Try it" 

He tries it but the ring is a bit bigger than his pointed finger.

"You are skinny. You need to eat alot"

"Thank you. I like it"

"Wear it to your thumb. I think it will fit there"

"Thank you for remembering my birthday"

"Actually. I forgot but mom told me yesterday hahahahaha.."

Of course. Earth should know better. It is not possible if this boy remembers his birthday. Every year. He always forget. Well, it is nothing new but still, it is hurt. Earth feels so hurt. Not even a chance for this guy to remember him. He is just a plain neighbor just like others to this guy. He never really cares. He is not important to this boy's life. Just a neighbor. A plain neighbor.

"I do care"

"Huh?"

"I do care about you, Earth. That's why I bought you breakfast and milk. You need to gain weight. Ok?"

Earth just nod and feels so warm when that guy ruffles his messy hair. He always likes when he is doing that to him.

"Now, I need to back. Stink" He sniffes his smell, "I need to shower, don't you think?"

Earth nods again.

"Yeah. I know you will say that. Gotta be look good because I have a date with my girlfriend this afternoon"

The handsome boy bids him goodbye.

"Ben..." Earth lets out a soft voice when he calls that name.

"Yes?"

"Thank you...for...everything"

That handsome boy, Ben, he smiles and back ruffles his hair. Earth's messy hair becomes messier.

"Remember this. I will always be beside you. Ok?"

That sounds so good to his ear but he knows better it could be only a dream. He will never be beside him no matter what. His place is not there. Someone else has been placed there. His girlfriend. So, no space for him to stand anymore. He only can stand and watch him from afar. Admire him from distance. And getting hurt by his own feeling or maybe killing in pain like he usually feel since he laid interest to the boy who is named Benjamin.

He loves him. Earth loves him but his love is wrong. He doesn't deserve to feel that feeling. He is nothing. He supposed not to feel love. That feeling is not something he should feel. Not for an orphan like him. Not for a plain human like him. Not for unimportant person like him. The love is something he never deserve to have.

He never deserve to be in love and to love someone.

He doesn't have right to be loved by someone.

He doesn't deserve to feel like that.

Never ever.

.  
.  
.

Breakfast is long gone but the bag that Ben gave to him is still there. He is hungry but he doesn't want to eat it. It feels like he is losing his appetite.

This always happens whenever he remembers how miserable his life is. No love, no friends, and nothing. He is alone in this cruel world.

"That's look yummy" A voice wakes him from his thought.

That boy is back again. His new friend. Phoom. Pavel Phoom. He smiles to him but the mole on his face distracts Earth. He wants to touch it because it is look interesting.

"Is there something on my face?"

"Your mole..."

"Cute right? This is my charm. People love me because my mole"

Earth doesn't know either he is joking or not but what he says it is kinda true because Earth likes his mole. It is look interesting.

He looks at his face and without he realizes it, he touches his cheek and caress the mole on his face.

"Your hand is cold"

Earth wants to take his hand away from that boy face but Phoom grabs it. He puts it back to his cheek but now with his hand holds Earth hand.

"Let's make it warm a little bit"

They stare each other. Eyes to eyes. No one is blinking. Earth takes his hand away and he is become awkward.

"Why you are here? Do you want to buy flowers?"

"I didn't want but now you ask, I think I want one"

Earth tilts his head. Confuse. He always do that when he is confuse. He looks at him with his eyebrows raise up.

"But before that. You need to eat" He is referring to bag that Earth stared for long time.

"I will eat it later"

"Nah. You eat now. I bought you pad thai"

"I don't eat meat"

"I bought seafood one" Phoom smiles, "Come. Eat with me. I am starving"

Earth backs to his chair. Sits down and looks at the foods Phoom bought for him.

Phoom tells him to eat and he does as he told. It is delicious. He never taste something like that before. Well, he doesn't really have times to cook or buy something. He only eats instant noodles. It is easy and yummy. It is kinda simple to cook. No need much times to make it. That's why he likes instant noodles. Simple as that.

"Earth.... I...." Ben is rushing in and stop when he sees Earth with...someone else? Eating together?

It is new sight for him. He never knows if he will see a scene like this. Earth that he knows never eat with someone. He likes being alone. Do something by himself. Always alone. But today it is not. He is with someone else.

"I just bought you tomyum because I thought you haven't eat but..." He looks at Earth then Phoom, "I am sorry to disturb you"

Earth gets up and walks to him. He takes the food he brings for him.

"I will eat. Thank you"

"Who is he?" Ben whispers.

Earth looks at Phoom who is busy eating pad thai. He seems not bother with Ben existence. He is still enjoying his food.

"Friend"

"Friend?" Ben voice is too loud for Phoom to ignores. 

Well, it is shocking Ben to know if Earth has friend. It is good but it feels new and weird because as he knew, Earth never have friend. And if he has, the only possible that can be called his friend is himself. Ben himself because only him who always cares to him.

Earth nods while tries to fix his glasses. It is hard because his hands hold the foods that Ben bought for him. Ben helps him. He fixes his glasses.

"Do you want me to make a bucket for your girlfriend?"

Ben shakes his head. He doesn't want to bother Earth. He wants Earth to enjoy his meal. And his girl friend won't mind if he doesn't buy her roses.

"But I will take this one" Ben takes one rose and gives it to Earth, "For you"

Earth looks at the rose that Ben gives to him. Confuse. He looks at Ben. Tilts his head. Why he gives him this rose?

Actually, Ben always gives him rose but not like this. He always buy roses for his girl friend and always gives one of the roses to Earth. But this time, he is not buying roses for her but giving one and only for him.

"Take care"

Earth nods again.

"I will always be with you, remember?"

He nods again.

Ben ruffles his hair like he usually do. With so much care.

"Call me whenever you need me"

He bids goodbye after that.

Earth backs to Phoom who is busy chewing his foods. He looks at Earth who is busy placing the rose between other roses that seem withered.

"Is all of them from him?"

Earth doesn't bother to answer it. It is not his business but Earth's.

Phoom who gets no answer becomes more curious.

"Why you not care them like you take care other flowers?"

Earth looks at him. No expression is showing. No mad. No angry. Just flat.

"Sometime you need to let your hope fades away"

Phoom doesn't say anything. He can feel the sadness from the skinny boy voice. It hurts him. He doesn't like to see his new friend feels hurt.

Earth backs to his seat. Open the foods that Ben bought for him. He smiles when he smells the deliciousness from that food. He is starving again. His appetite is raising.

"That boy...you like him?"

Earth stops eating and looks at the boy who is just asking him. He doesn't know if he is angry or not. Phoom can't tell it. But he kinda regret to ask him that stupid question.

"I am sorry..."

"I don't deserve to have that feeling"

"Why?"

No answer.

"Everyone deserves it. Including you. Everyone can love someone and to be loved by someone"

"It is too grand for someone like me"

"Earth. Look. You deserve it. I tell you. You deserve all. Everything"

"It is too much. I can't pay it" He is on the edge to cry but he holds it. He tries hard not to break and become weak again.

The world is too cruel for weak people. He doesn't want to be weak. He doesn't want the world will do harm to him anymore. He has had enough. He only want peace. A peace life. Nothing more.

"How about finding new hope?"

"I do have"

"What is it?"

"To not be born and disappear"


	3. Love In The Rain

Do you like to watch series or film where the plot is fluffy and romantic?

Don't ever trust it because life is not like that

Happy ending?

It only happens in drama or film. Not in real life.

Life is cruel. Take a note of it. It never be friendly to you. Even tho when you be friend with it, life still be cruel to you. It always betrays you when you thought everything won't get worse. No, it can be more worst than you think.

Life always hate people. Especially when you are poor, weak and nothing to compare to other people who is superior.

Life is unfriendly.

In the end, you gotta deal with sadness and miserable moment. Don't ever thing you will get happy ending because it is nonsense at all. 

Earth knows it better. That's why he never raises his false hope. He lives in reality, not a dream and the reality is cruel than you think.

EARTH

He doesn't know why his parent gave him that name. He is still wondering.

Did his parent want him to live like real earth? Protect everything that live inside it and accept every bad things that the living species do to it. Being an earth that always through the shit that living things throw to it every single sec.

Earth has enough of that. He doesn't want to have and through the old shit anymore. For once, he wants to know what happiness feels like. For once he wants to see how his face smile look like. He wants to smile until his face numb and hurt. Until he feels bored to smile. He wants to taste happiness until he toxicated of it. He wants, just for once, breathe freely.

For once.

Is it too much to ask?

Earth looks out at window. Cloud. Too much cloud is surrounding the sky now. It is getting darker. Maybe this is the sign from God if his wishes won't come true. God is disagree with him right now. Happiness? Not now.

One by one the lamp is turning on, showing the light that makes street seen. It is wet but the drips of the rain makes it look like they are dancing on that small alley.

Earth opens the window and looks out to the rain outside. He smell the wet air from the outside. The sound of the rains feels like a music in his ears. It eases him. It makes him feel at peace.

He likes the rain. Nah, it is not true. He is now used to like the rain because of someone. Ben.

Earth hated the rain before but now, he is liking it because Benjamin likes it. Earth learns how to like it until he falls for the sound of the rain itself.

He inhales the air until his lung get bigger and look wide. He holds the airs that protesting want to be out from his lung. He feels it for sec before he free them. It is so nice. He loves the feeling.

"Are you looking at the rain outside?" A voice from another side of his phone when he picks up the call.

"It is so nice, isn't it?" The latter asks him with a beaming smile. Earth doesn't need to see him to know if the latter is smiling.

"Earth...." That soft voice of him enough to makes his heart is melting. The gentle voice from him is something that Earth really loves to hear. He is calling his name is something that Earth wants to hear forever, for the rest of his life.

"Yes, Ben?"

"I miss you...."

Pause. No one is talking. Only the breath of them that heard on the phone. It is long pregnant silent until Ben breaks it. He clear his throat and faking a cough.

"Where are you?" Ben knows it is a stupid question but it is the only one way to break the awkward silence between them.

"I am on my way back to the home"

Lies.

Earth grabs his umbrella and wears a jacket before he goes out and heading some where. He is walking under the rain without cutting the call.

"Coming back from store?"

"Umm..."

They are talking like they are in different island. Long distance.

Funny how Earth thinks about it. They literally met yesterday and this morning Ben brought him meals like he usually do, but now Ben is talking he missed him like he haven't meet him for years.

Earth gets in to the store and gets something that he doesn't really care what it is. He only thinks he needs something to carry to look like he was came from store.

He buys one can of instant coffee. The warm one. Ben likes it. He wants to give it to him.

"Where are you?"

"Look at your window"

Ben comes to the window in his room on second floor. He opens it and look down to someone who is standing outside, under the rain. He smiles to him.

"I got something for you"

Without any hesitation, Ben comes down with his pajamas and umbrella to block the rain for wetting him.

Earth is looking to the good looking guy who is wearing pajamas at this hour. 6pm. He is giggling but hides it,not wants Ben to notice it.

"It is comfy. Don't laugh at me!"

"Here"

Earth takes out a warm coffee from his pocket and gives it to Ben. It is his favorite.

"How do you know I want this one right now? You know, we have no stock at home but I am too lazy to walk to buy it. I asked mom and Poy to buy it for me but they told me to buy it by myself. Don't they know I am too lazy to do it?"

Earth just listens to his blabbering about his mother and his little sister. He likes it when Ben talks to him. He likes to hear his voice. He likes to see his face up close and he loves to be so close to him. Breathing same air as him. It makes him happy.

"Thanks anyway"

Earth nods and gives him a genuine smile as he always do.

"Come in. Florist is close, right? Come in and have dinner with us"

Earth shakes his head. Refuses it. The reason why he comes here is only to meet him. He doesn't want to bother his family. And he already cook something for his dinner.

"Are you sure?"

He nods again.

"I am here only to see you, Ben. And now I already see you, it is enough for me" He said in his mind.

"We barely spend time together"

"It's because you are busy with your girlfriend"

"I know right. I am a bad friend for you"

A friend. Yeah, that's the relationship between them. A friend. Nothing more.

Earth sighs when he thinks about that.

He can't wish for more. Being a friend is more than enough. It is like privilege for him to become friend with Ben. Asking for more than that, it is so wrong for someone like him.

"Let's hang out on Sunday. You and me. Friend date"

"But your..."

"Don't worry. She will be fine"

.  
.  
.

Earth backs to his florist. His small home. He is walking with a smile on his face. Thinking about date he will have with Ben. A date? No, it is not a date. It is just friend hanging out together. A date is a grand word that will never happen to his life. He knows it better.

A meow voice is heard from the side of front his florist. It is shaking. Earth is trying to find it. He sees a boy with wet hair and wet clothes is standing in front of his florist, take shelter from rain. On his hands, there is a bundle of jacket covering a tiny little cat. The cat is wet and shaking.

"I saw it sheltered on my way here" The boy tells him.

Earth opens the door and let them in. Give the boy a towel to dry himself.

"Do you have another one?"

"Why?"

"Come here. Let me dry your hair"

"It's ok. I--"

The boy pulls him and make him sit down beside him. He carress his hair with the towel.

"You should take care of yourself too. I don't want you to be sick"

Earth just quiets. Silent. Doesn't say anything. Just let the boy dries his hair with so gentle.

"Phoom..."

The boy still busy takes care of him. He hears his name is being called but he doesn't answer it. He just gives time for the skinny boy to say whatever he wants to tell him.

A minute passed. Nothing. Still no words come from the skinny boy.

"Meow"

The little kitty is breaking the silent. The little kitty is sleeping on warm place that Earth made for him. He seems like it.

"Do you have something to eat? For the kitty"

Phoom is heading to kitchen, try to find something for the little kitty. He finds a milk. He warms it first before giving it to him.

Earth is sitting near the little kitty. He smiles looking at the furball.

"Wanna pet him?"

Earth looks at the boy who already sits beside him and give milk to the little kitty. Phoom carress the little kitty. Earth joins to carress her. Earth doesn't say anything but keep plays with the kitty.

"Phoom..."

A soft voice calls his name. Now, their eyes are locking. They look at each other. No one is dare to say anything. Phoom just sees the beautiful thing through Earth's eyes. He knows if Earth is cute and handsome but he never realized if he is beautiful too.

"Can I be happy?"

Phoom puts his hand on the skinny boy head. He taps it gently then smile.

"Did he confess to you?"

Earth shakes his head and tells him about the friend date they arranged.

"I don't want to raise a false hope. It is hurt. I don't want to be hurt anymore"

"Find me when you are hurt and heart broken. Let me heal it for you"

Earth looks at his friend. A new friend who always kind and gentle to him. A friend who always cares about him. He feels so lucky to meet him but at the same time he thinks he doesn't deserve him. He is too good for being a friend to someone like him.

"Why you are nice to me?"

"Why I am not allowed to be nice to you?"

Earth doesn't give him answer but back to play with the little kitty.

"He is cute"

Earth says while looking at the small cute kitty.

"Yes. He is"

Phoom says while looking at the skinny boy who is busy playing with the little kitty.


	4. End Alone

Destiny

People live in the world have their own destiny. God had wrote their story. Their future has been planned. No matter what you are trying to do, God has plan for you. And yes, sometime we are complaining how selfish God is. We complain but we can't do anything.

Accepting. That's the only thing we can do. But don't you tired just accepting everything that has been written for you? Can't you just write your own story? How it goes, how it ends. Be as you wish.

Happy ending

We want that but not all of us will have that. Only lucky person can have it. The unluckiest one only will cry in the end, because the path they have been through just lead them to unhappy ending.

Fate

It is been written. Like it or not, the ending is fated. Don't raise your hope. World is cruel. Don't be nice or else you will be the one who is end up being hurt.

Maybe that's what Earth should do. Not raising his hope. But he couldn't do it. For the first time he feels so happy. For the first time he is excited for being born. For the first time he wants to taste what being happy is like.

Hurt. Being hurt. Something that he really doesn't want to feel. But in the end, being hurt is part of his life. Sad life is his soulmate.

Earth is so excited to welcome this day. Today is the day. What day? The day when he will spend a day with the guy who steals his heart. The guy who always put a smile on his face whenever he sees him. The guy who is special for Earth. The guy who becomes his reason to be happy. Benjamin Brasier.

Earth already prepare himself since the sun hasn't rise and now he is so ready. Only wait for Ben to pick him up.

A knock is heard. He is heading to the door and opens it. Too excited think about Ben picks him up, but no. It is not Ben. It is someone else who he never wants to see again. Someone who Earth wishes to not meet again forever.

Earth doesn't hate him but he dislikes him for reasons. Whenever he appears in his life, his life will become a mess. A disaster will hit his life and destroy everything he has. That's the reason why Earth dislike that guy.

Earth tries to close the door but the hands stop him. He is getting stronger than last time they met or maybe it is Earth who becomes more skinny and weak.

"p'Earth...please..."

Earth is still trying to close the door and push that guy away from him but the latter is more stronger than he thought. Even though he uses all his strength, it is useless. The door won't shut down.

"Help me, p'Earth"

Krit, the young boy, is begging him.

"Go away. I don't want to deal with you"

"p'Earth..." The stranger is pleading him. There's a desperate tone in his voice. It feels like he is really in trouble.

"I don't want to deal with them!" Earth yells.

"With who?"

Earth freezes when he hears that voice. His body seemed petrified. The chill is flowing over his body. It is not hot but he is sweating. Cold sweat. It is like he is having a nightmare. A very bad nightmare.

Yes, it is a nightmare. Not in his wildest dream he wants to meet the owner of the voice.

The owner of the voice is stepping forward to him but Earth steps back every time that creepy guy makes a move.

"Hello Earth" 

The creepy smiles he gives to Earth makes the skinny boy shivers. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like that guy. He hates him.

"Please don't hurt p'Earth!"

The boy who came first stand between the creepy guy and Earth. The creepy guy smirks then a slap lands on the young boy's face.

"You dare to command me?!"

The creepy guy look more creepier than before and it is not good at all. Earth takes three steps back to keep safe distance. The young guy who tries to stop the creepy guy is stepping away from his way, make a way for the creepy guy.

That creepy guy is looking at Earth. Straight to his eyes.

"I see you are having good life here"

Earth doesn't answer him. Beside he is still afraid, he doesn't have plan to say anything to him.

"Hmee, you got the money?"

Another voice comes and there is a old man stands near door, looks to them.

"I told you to wait in car Tol!"

"Is that the boy you said?" The old man looks straight to Earth and it gives him another shiver on his skin. He doesn't like it. He hates it.

"He is cute"

"Don't touch him!" The boy who comes with them shouts.

The creepy guy, Hmee, goes to that boy and punches his stomach hard. The boy fall downs and groaning in pain.

"I told you don't command us!"

He kicks him several times. The bleed is coming from his mouth.

"Don't....khh! khh! khh!...p'Earth"

"Look at this kid. He still not listens to me"

He kicks that boy more and more until the boy coughs up blood.

"Stop!" Earth yells. He doesn't want that boy to get hurt anymore. Although he dislikes that boy but that boy never do harm to him. He always tries to protect him not to get hurt by the creepy guy.

"You seem so care about him?"

No answer. Just sound of winds through their silence.

"Don't you hate him? He always bothers you. Asking money from you and never return it to you. If I was you, I will hate him and close to want to kill him"

"You are the one who forced him to do that!"

"Me?" The creepy guy is laughing like a criminal. It is making him scariest than he already is.

"I didn't do anything. I only ask him if he has money and he said yes and willing to give them to me"

"You abused him! You are threatening him to hurt him if he won't give you money!"

"Am I?" He looks to the young boy who is laying down on the floor. He uses his foots to wake him up.

"Hey, tell him you are willing to do it by your own. No one forced you"

The boy only can cough because of pain that he feels all over his body especially his stomach.

"Tell him!"

The creepy guy kicks him again. They boy coughs even harder than before. It is dry cough. No bleed again.

"Hey Hmee, don't be so hard for cute boy. You need to be gentle"

The old man is walking forward to Earth. The defence mode is activated automatically in his body. Earth is stepping back. His eyes looks to left and right to see anything can be use as self defense tool.

A small knife.

He grabs it and points the knife at him. The old man is stop, not dare to get close to him.

"Hey don't play with that. It is dangerous"

"Don't come!"

"Hey boy. Let's talk"

The old man is trying to look gentle but Earth knows he is same worst as Hmee guy. When the old man is trying to get close to him, Earth is swinging the knife and it scratches his hand. The old man is groaning in pain and tries to stop the bleeding.

"You bastard!!!"

The Hmee guy is coming for Earth but a hand stop him from moving. The boy on the floor is blocking him.

"Get off me you punk!" He kicks him.

"Earth...I hear..."

Phoom sneaks in and his face in horror when he looks at the scene he sees. A young guy is laying down on the floor with lot of wounds on his face. The old man is groaning in pain while trying to stop the bleeding on his hands and the scary guy who look angry wants to reach Earth while the skinny boy points a small knife to him.

No need explanation, Phoom runs to that creepy guy and fights him. Despite he is older than Phoom but he is still strong enough to fight him.

Earth is panicking when he sees Phoom get beaten up by that guy. His hands are shaking. The knife is still holded on his hands. He wants to help Phoom. He needs to help Phoom.

Earth runs to them and tries to stab that creepy guy but instead of that guy, he stabs Phoom. The boy is laying down on the floor.

The creepy guy is attempting to hurt him but Earth is getting wild. Swinging the knife he holds everywhere. He brutally scratches the creepy guy and stabs him twice.

The old man who witnesses it runs away. Go out and cries for help. He asks help from stranger he meets in front of the door.

"Earth....?"

That voice. Earth freezes. His mind is back. He is back to his sane mind. He looks at the owner of the voice. The boy is looking terrified at him.

"Ben...."

Ben steps back when Earth tries to approach him. That hits Earth the most. His hope is fading. He has no hope again. The reason of his happiness is afraid of him. No more reason to look forward to next day. His life is back to old life. Sad and full of misery.

Ben is scared of him.

.  
.  
.

Earth walks out from the police office with heavy steps. His new life is end already. There's nothing to look forward. There's no reason for him to continue his life. Everything is ruined already.

Even though he is released because it is sentenced as self defending, but in Ben's eyes he is someone who hurted and tried to kill someone. Doesn't matter what the policeman said, it won't change Ben saw him tried to kill them.

"Khun Earth..." 

A policeman called him. Earth looks at him. He was the one who helped him in interrogation room. He helped him not to be nervous and told him to tell everything that happened. His name is officer David.

"I am David. I am friend of Pavel"

"How..."

"He is fine. His mom called me and told me he is fine. He only got stiches"

"I am....sorry"

"About the criminals. They will arrested and go to jail"

"The boy..."

"Don't worry, he will be released tomorrow"

Earth nods. He doesn't know what to say anymore. His mind is still in a mess. He can't think anything. He feels hopeless.

"I am about to visit him. Wanna join?"

"I...."

"Wait here. I will bring my car"

That officer is running to his car in the parking lot. Earth sighs. To be honest, he doesn't want to meet Phoom right now. He is not ready to face him, not after he hurted him and made him go to hospital.

.  
.  
.

Hospital

One of place that Earth doesn't like. The smell of drugs is something he doesn't like. His nose is itching whenever he smell it. He dislikes it, that's why he never went to hospital. Not until now.

They walk through the door and use lift to head up. Third floor. That's what number of the guy beside him pushed. They arrive at 3rd floor. It is quite clean and the interior is too different from first floor. Maybe this is VIP room.

"I need to get this call. You can go first"

Earth looks at David who wants to pick up the call. He doesn't know which room Phoom is in.

"Room 307, the last room on the corner"

David goes to quiet place to talk to someone who calls him. Earth walks slowly. Step by step. Looking around to find the room he was told.

Find it.

He hesitates to come in. He stands in front of the door for while to collect his courage to face Phoom. His right hand tries to reach the knot. Freez. He freez when he hears voices from inside the room. It is female voice. A woman. Middle age woman to be exact.

"This is why I don't like you to be friend with stranger!" 

The woman nags. Her voice is showing how unpleasant she feels right now.

"Mom, he is not a stranger. He is my friend and his name is Earth"

Earth hears the conversation between mother and son about him. It is clearly the mother doesn't like him. It is reasonable because of him, her son is being stabbed and ended up in hospital.

"Stop seeing him! I don't want you to see him again!"

"I can't do that"

"Why? It is not like you don't have any friends. You have lot of friends who are better than him. A lawyer, CEO, artist, manager, officer. You have good friends. Unlike him who is nothing but an orphan. We still don't know who his parent are. What they did when they alive"

"Mom!"

"What?"

"You are checking his background"

"I have to. I should know what kind of guy who is befriend with my son" She is reasoning, "You sure he didn't approach you for money?"

"Mom! He is not like that. Earth is different"

"What is so different of him? He has nothing to proud of"

Silence.

Earth leans his back to the wall. No sound. He is being careful not to be noticed by them. His heart is aching. It is not like it his first time to hear something like this but it is still hurt to hear this fact about himself.

Yes, he is just an orphan who deserve nothing in this world. Even the right to be happy, he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to like someone or being loved by someone. He is destined to alone. Lonely.

"I like him, mom"

"What do you mean by like?"

"Romantically. Just like you and dad. I love him"

Thud. Loud voice is heard from inside. Earth doesn't know what it is cause and he doesn't dare to take peak inside. He is too surprise of what he just heard.

Phoom likes him. His friend loves him.

The tears are running down from his eyes. He doesn't know why he is tearing up. His chest feels so painful but at the same time he feels so warm. He doesn't know what is this. Maybe because it is the first time in his life someone has said something like this. It is the first time someone said they love him.

It is so warm but so painful too. So, this is what it is feel to be loved by someone. Warm yet painful. He thought being loved is full of sweetness and colorful but why the only thing he feels right now is regret and pain? Is it what they call love?

"Don't you dare to say that!"

"But I do, mom. I love him"

"I don't mind you fall in love with anyone but not to someone like him. He is nothing but poor. There is nothing good on him!"

"But..."

"Our conversation is over!"

.  
.  
.

The top of building.

The breeze is kinda cool. It is shooting. Earth can feel the wind caress his hair. Cool breeze.

He can see the view from the top of the hospital building and he can see how tall this building is. There is lot of people are walking in and out from hospital. They look so tiny from here. Like ants.

He stretches out his hands. Tries to feel the cool breeze that hugs him. He wants to fly. He wants to feel how it is feel like. He hopes he has wings, so he can fly.

Maybe he can.

Just let the winds fly his body. All he needs is close his eyes and throw his body in the air. It is simple as that.

He can do that.

.  
.  
.

It is so painful. He can feel the painful is kissing his whole body. The blood everywhere. Everyone is surrounding him. Everyone seems so worry about him.

So, this is what is feel like when you are dying. Blood is surrounding your body and also people look worry about you. Some are callingfor help, some are panicking because they don't know what to do.

So, when you are dying even strangers are worried about you. It is quite funny. How come they worry for a stranger?

Ah...it is kinda a beautiful sight. A beautiful view where you can still witness humanity still exist. But don't you think it is kinda late? Someone needs to be dying just to see humanity existence.

It is painful. Dying is painful. You wants to say something but your voice won't come. You want to move but your body feels like breaking. And you are bleeding. Blood is everywhere, surrounding you. Red and smell so fishy.

Earth thinks this is it. It is time to say goodbye.

Goodbye.


	5. New Chapter of Life

Goodbye

Earth.... He can't move his body. He freezes. Even tho he wants to move, he can't do it. It feels like his body is numb. He can feel the pain. Yes, the pain that he can't describe. His entire boy feels that pain.

The pain that the suicide boy feels.

Maybe it is because he has thought the same thing as what the boy did. He can feel it in his body.

Earth looks at the boy who tried to suicide by jumped from the building. The body of the boy is surrounding by blood. He look like in pain. He is glad he didn't do the thing that crossed his mind when he was on top of the building. He thanks himself for cancelling the intention of him to do suicide.

He doesn't want to end up look like that poor boy who is in pain right now.

Doctors and paramedic come to help the boy. He is taken to the emergency room. Earth can hear one of doctor tell the staff to prepare emergency operation for that boy. He wishes the boy can survive and get better.

I wish God will take away your pain

That's what he wishes for the boy. He knows nothing better than wishing that boy won't feel any pain anymore.

Die? Maybe, but if it is the best thing for that boy not to feel pain anymore....Ah, it is sound so cruel! Why life is so cruel? Why God plays with human feeling? Why?

Earth hopes he has no feeling.

It is hurt.

.  
.  
.

The alley look so dark tonight. It is more dark than before. Maybe because of cloudy or maybe it is because his heart has no light of hope anymore.

Earth is walking through the alley.

He should go back to his home but he is not. His feet carries him down a small alley. The alley where lot of things happened. The alley where his good memories live. He wants to recall that memories. Those old memories about him smiling, blushing and laughing.

Happy memory.

But it hurts him more than he thought it will heal him. It is supposed to cheer him up but no, it tears his heart into pieces.

A heart broken.

It feels like a torture. It taste like a poison. Hurt and bitter. He wants to run away.

Maybe he should do it. Suicide.

He can't take it. The pain is too painful and he has no one to hold on. No one can help him. No one beside him. No one can tell him if everything is gonna be ok.

He has no one.

"Hallo"

A familiar voice is greeting him after minutes of waiting for picking up the call.

He doesn't answer that greeting. Not like he doesn't want to. It is just to painful to hear that warm voice in his ears. The voice that always calm him whenever he hears it, but now it is like a needles that pierce his heart and make thousand holes in it.

"Earth...?"

"I am so easy to you. I came when you asked me. I go when you told me to go. I am that easy"

Finally Earth opens his mouth after long pregnant silence. Finally he gathers the courage he has just to be brave enough to tell what he is feeling, for once.

Breath.

Only that sound that Earth could hear from the latter. Ben doesn't give him any responses. Silence.

"How could you break what we had just like this? Why is it so easy for you to throw me away?"

His friendship.

He has nothing more than friendship. Yes, friendship. That's the only thing he has with Benjamin Brasier. Even, he wasn't the one who claimed it but Ben. And now, it is gone. Just like that.

Earth is left alone.

Ben is afraid of him.

The way he looked at him, he was terrified of Earth. He is scared of him. Even he ran away when he tried to approached him. He left him without gave him a chance to explain himself.

"I..." the voice sounded guilty "...am sorry..."

Earth broke.

He doesn't like to see or hear Ben sad but he is the reason why someone he cares is sad right now. He blames himself but at the same time, he still feels so hurt. He is miserable right now.

"I....for once, want you to feel miserable. So miserable! Crying every night whenever you think about me! I wish I can wish something like that but...."

"Earth...."

"I can't... I can't, Ben. I couldn't wish something like that to you. I can't!"

"I am sorry...."

"It is so hurt, Ben. It is hurting me"

Ben doesn't know what to say. The true feeling that he hears from Earth is hurting him even more. He blames himself for hurting his precious friend.

He lied.

He said to himself to protect Earth but he couldn't do it. Not just he couldn't protect him but he turned himself away from his friend. He is such a jerk. An asshole.

"I love you"

Pause.

Ben surprised with what he just heard. He heard it clear but he thinks his ears are playing with him. No way for Earth to have a feeling for him. It is not like he doesn't like it. It is just, he never thought about that.

It is just, he surprised.

No voice is heard from Earth anymore. The phone call is over. Earth cuts the line when Ben wants to say something. Ben can't think anything. In his mind, the only thing he wants is to meet Earth. No matter what, he has to meet him right now.

"Ben, where are you going?"

His mom is asking him when she sees him running out with a hoodie in his hands.

"Police office. I need to see Earth"

"Mom...please... I need to see him right now"

Before his mom protests, he begs her to give him a permission.

"Don't hurt him anymore"

"I am sorry I was stupid"

"Go and take him home. Our home"

Ben is running. He is speeding. Trying to catch every sec of times. Not to miss his chance anymore. He doesn't want to be an idiot for making a same mistake twice. He can't correct his past mistake but he can make no more mistake.

He promises not to break his promise anymore.

Earth in other hand, hides himself on corner of the alley. Hides himself in the dark. Looking at the Ben's silhouette who is trying to catch his chance.

Ben passes him and disappear in the dark of the night.

The tears are running down on his face. Earth is crying in silence.

He wanted to call Ben's name. Told him where he is about. But his logic told him not to. It is over already. His love story is over since he told him the truth. Since he revealed his true feeling for Ben.

It is over.

.  
.  
.

Florist

It is look so beautiful. More colorful. Flowers are everywhere. If last time, that place only have two or three kinds of flowers, now they have many.

Not only that, it has lot of costumers too. Girls. Lot of girls, from teenagers to adult.

The owner is happily cater them. Even he doesn't mind when they are trying to flirt with him. It is been his daily basis to get flirt by them. Blame his handsome face and his sexy body.

He is not trying to seduce them but he likes to wear sleeve. It is more easy to move and not makes him feel so hot because hot weather.

"Excuse me. Is the owner of this florist busy?"

A cop is coming with beaming smile on his face. The ladies are aweing how handsome that guy in uniform. Toned and very firm. His abs are showing from how tight his uniform is. It is screaming to undress and let those abs free.

"David, I told you not to come with uniform when you are visiting me"

Phoom is nagging his friend when all those ladies off from his florist. It was hard to make them go away, not after they saw the delicious meal a.k.a David in front of them. The handsome and hot guy. They won't let it fly away.

Phoom is busy with the flowers. Yes, he is now owning the florist that Earth left. It is been a year after he left and disappeared, nowhere to be found. A year with a lonesome and missing that dimple boy.

Move on?

Phoom can't do it. Even tho people around him told him to do that but he can't. No, he doesn't want to. He still waits for that cute boy to comeback. It doesn't matter if he won't have him as a lover. It won't matter if that cute boy won't return his feeling. As long as he is back to his lonesome life, it is enough for Phoom.

It is enough for him. As long as he can see him, see his smile, his laugh, his cute face. He misses him every single day.

Phoom misses Earth so much.

"How..."

David can't say anything. He only can show his guilty face to his friend.

"I see...."

David can see the sadness from his friend face. It is too visible not to notice.

Phoom looks at the rose in his hand. Smiling like he is rembering something.

"At least I know he is fine and nothing bad happens to him"

Yes, no news from him is meaning nothing bad happens to him. Phoom believes it. He believes Earth is fine out there. Maybe he is living a happy life right now. Smiling and laughing as he should be.

"Why don't you..."

"I can't. I don't want to"

"For how long?"

"I don't know" He looks at his friend and smiles, "Until the owner is back"

"If he..."

"I will wait"

"Phoom...."

"I am fine. Don't worry" 

He looks up to the blue sky. It is so clear and so beautiful. The sunshine radiates the happy energy.

"I hope he is happy out there"

.  
.  
.

Ben looks up at the sky. So clear and beautiful, yet he is feeling sad.

He is laying down on the grass. Let his body rest from tiresome. Under the tree, he is hiding from the sunlight.

"The sky is beautiful"

He can hear Earth's voice in his mind. The voice is living in his memory. It was good and happy. Yeah, it was good until he ruined it.

"Where are you?"

He ask himself. No, actually he asks the person who lives in his memory.

"I am here, Ben"

That cute boy is showing his cute smile to him. Tilts his head like a cute puppy. Ben wants to touch him. Ruffles his fluffy hair like he always did in the past.

"I miss you"

No answer. The boy who lives in his mind is smiling at him. Just smiling and showing a blushing face. Cute.

"I miss you, Earth"

Earth in his memory is saying something to him but he can't hear it. He tries to read his lips but it is so hard to understand what he is saying.

"Please comeback, Earth. Please...."

.  
.  
.

Crowded.

Too much people.

Earth feels like he is lost in this place. He supposed to buy some ingredients to make new menu for his cafe but now, he is here enjoying lot of things. Too much interesting things catch his eyes.

He can't help it but enjoy.

He moves from one place to other place. Enjoying every single thing that interest him. He smiles and look so happy. Unlike him in the past, he look more happy and heathier. He gains more weight and no more zombie face. He is lively.

"You can play it with your cats. Cat loves that thing"

The owner tells him when Earth shows interest to thing he sells.

Earth nods and buy the toy. He doesn't forget his promise to buy his little kitten a toy to play this morning. He is excited to show it to his little buddy.

"p'Earth!"

He hears a guy calls his name. He looks to the direction where that vouce comes from.

There is a guy who waves to his direction. He focus to his sight to know who is that guy.

The guy look not familiar to him but that guy is smiling happily to his direction. He waves and runs toward him. Earth is confuse, but the guy passes him.

"Huh?"

"p'Earth, I was looking for you"

The guy speaks to the tall guy who stands behind Earth. He looks at the tall guy. Well build and handsome. He has tan skin but it look so good on him. He is kind of sexy with that skin tone. Unlike himself who has white pale skin.

The tall guy ignores the boy but looks at Earth. He is smiling. Earth finds it awkward because he is embarrassed. He thought the guy is calling him but no. It is so embarrassing.

"We have same name, I guess"

"Ye...yeah...ha ha ha ha..."

He wants to hide. He wants to run away from this awkward moment. Earth wants to disappear from that place right now.

"Pirapat..." The tall handsome guy is offering his hand, "Earth Pirapat" 

He is giving Earth gummy smile. It is so charming and makes him look even more handsome that he already is. It is unfair to be that charming and handsome. Earth is blaming not to look handsome and charming like that tall guy.

"Earth...just Earth"

.  
.  
.

We have our own story in our lives.

Some story have their own ends and not all of them end like you want.

Open ending.

Yes, sometime it happens. Just like Earth's life story. He closed his old chapter and opens a new one. New life story.

Maybe he only can look back at his past story through his memory but maybe someday, he can really back and say hi. But now, it is not the time.

He moves on.

Earth moves on to new chapter of his life.

\- END -


End file.
